Hi, I’m Sarah – I’m an independence coach and healing facilitator with a wealth of knowledge on mental and emotional health and wellbeing, and I help my clients implement practical healing strategies following a toxic experience or encounter.

My passion is to not only get you back on track so you’re feeling great again – but to also help you evolve so that you feel confident and assured, whether someone’s by your side or not, so that you can live a wholesome, happy existence – no matter what life throws at you.

My journey down this career path and into this passion began when I experienced narcissistic abuse first hand, for the first time. Prior to that, I didn’t know anything about narcissism. I thought no one would lie (without a good reason), that cheats never prospered and that what you see is what you get. I was young, naive and deeply in love.

I’ll admit – the awakening itself was brutal; it was the most painful and challenging experience I have ever had in my life. But the healing process and the rise after was truly beautiful.

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My Story

I’ve been there, I know how it feels and I can help you!

Something I’m deeply passionate about is nature and natural surroundings, particularly when you’re in need of healing. Nature is the one constant that no one can ever take away from you. It’s always changing – but there’s beauty in every change. Your healing journey is as beautiful as you allow it to be. I’m going to show you some photos I took while I was healing, as I share my story.

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I was always an adventurous, happy-go-lucky kind of girl who generally overcame challenges with dignity and grace. Although outwardly, I walked the planet with confidence and good humor, on the inside I hid a very low-self esteem. And I thought I hid it well.

It wasn’t until a series of toxic relationships lead me like stepping stones directly in the firing-line of an abusive relationship that I realised how low my self-esteem was … and how masking it with a false appearance had never really been an answer.

I was 30 years old when I fell head over heels in love with a narcissist.

The relationship tormented me, humiliated me and eventually intimidated me to the point where I had completely lost sight of my identity. I knew I had attachment problems, I even identified myself as a love-addict … but I couldn’t understand why no matter how bad things got, I kept wanting to be with him. I craved him like a moth to a very, lethal flame.

My life quickly became stranger than fiction. The crazy-making lies and manipulation left me dizzy; the triangulation left me heartbroken – but I still had hope; and by the time I left, the experiences I had left me with severe symptoms of C-PTSD … once I was out I also had to deal with a smear campaign and other, more serious, separation abuse tactics.

It didn’t take long for my focus to shift from trying to stay to survival.

My healing journey started the moment I stepped into a new property – where he would never find me. I set out with determination – fighting trauma bonds and fantasies left behind. I wanted to escape him but also ensure I never experienced anything like that EVER again.

The beginning of my healing journey was complicated and lonely. I was so ashamed, I didn’t want to talk about my experience. I just wanted to focus on getting through each excruciatingly painful moment while I pieced together my shattered soul and rebuilt my confidence again.

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The whole experience was the wake up call that changed my entire life.

I set out to cure my pre-existing issues with love addiction, a fear of abandonment and co-dependence; I craved to feel whole and independent at anyone time; to live without attachment. I saw a psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist to try to get the road map I needed to move forward. No one could give me the steps I needed to take.

I joined online forums for support, but quickly realised not everyone there was looking to heal or was there for the right reasons.

And then I found coaching – the steps and the support I was looking for and I was finally able to complete my healing journey. I kept a diary throughout my healing, gained as many qualifications as I could so I could start supporting others and I set out to create a non-triggering space where people could move forward and that’s evolved into what I offer today.

5 things I  can help you with

There are five weak spots people encounter in their healing journey after experiencing a toxic relationship. These things can prolong the healing process; keep you stuck; make you want to give up; promote self-doubt and they make everything a lot more difficult.

I help people fast-track their way to overcome them using some fast and simple techniques.

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Emotions

Whether it’s sadness, anger, confusion, or an overwhelm of many emotions – I know how it feels when you’re healing and struggling emotionally. Suppressing your emotions can prolong the healing process and also be harmful to you long-term. I help my clients with practising mindfulness techniques and other strategies to help them cope with these feelings as these arise.

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Photo credit: andronicusmax via Visualhunt / CC BY

Addiction

Knowing you’re struggling with love addiction but not that it’s likened to heroin with it’s addictive (and sometimes deadly) nature, increases the challenge for breaking it. Trauma bonding can also elevate this addiction when you first leave the relationship, this is the attached pull that keeps you wanting to go back. I work with clients to help them understand and break these addictions and make a full recovery.

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Fear

Leaving these relationships is a scary journey! Scared they will come back. Scared they won’t come back. Scared of being abandoned. Scared of being alone (even for a little while). Scared of it happening again. Scared of other people’s judgements. Recovery and healing takes courage. I help my clients access their courage so that they can step into their power and take action.

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Attachment

It’s not unusual to suffer attachment even to the strangest things after these relationships. You could be attached to your abusive ex; attached to the fantasy of who they were and what you had; attached to possessions you shared; attached to dates and time-frames; attached to plans that may never happen now; attached to the might-have-been. I take clients through the process of letting go and releasing attachment so they can be free and independent again.

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Focus

It’s difficult not to focus on the utter devastation once you leave one of these relationships. Your confidence is destroyed, your self-esteem in tatters, and your whole wellbeing is completely off balance. Just as it’s a holistic downfall that could impact every area of your life, the best way to rise will be through holistic practices that also impact many areas of your life. All the strategies I work with, shift focus to a positive, forward-moving future to help clients rebuild their lives.

Friends I’ve met along the way

These people have inspired me and kept me motivated to heal and then use my story to help others.

I have met some inspiring mentors throughout my time as coach and healing facilitator. These people have made a large impact on my continued journey as a healing facilitator and inspired me to keep sharing and keep helping no matter what.

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Tara Moss
Speaker, author, model
Sydney, 2015

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Chris Guillebeau
Entrepreneur, author, blogger, speaker
Portland, 2015

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Brené Brown
Scholar, author, speaker
Nashville, 2015

DanielleLaPorte

Danielle LaPorte
Author, speaker, blogger
Sydney, 2017